Everything’s fine… or is it?

How often do you answer the question: ‘Hows it all going?’ or similar with ‘oh, fine thanks’. A fair bit if you’re anything like me.

In fact what I really want to say to people is ‘Not great actually, I’ve not slept for more than 3 hours straight since my youngest was born almost 18 months ago, I never eat three square meals a day because I have a high needs toddler who screams all the time if i’m not within two feet of him and making eye contact, life is easier at the park or the beach but I’m often so tired I can’t cope with chasing them around as they both run towards danger but in opposite directions. Oh, and my house is a mess and I’ve not done a proper clean since we moved in five months ago. My hair needed a cut and colour about three months ago and my house needs a new roof that we can’t afford. I also rarely spend more than 1 evening a week with my husband because he works a lot of late shifts and has a life. I sometimes work a late shift on his night off which is a lovely respite from doing bedtime with two kids 5 nights a week on my own but exhausting. I’m trying to keep on top of two jobs (three if you include blogging) and sometimes I just want to put my feet up and read a book in the evening instead of playing catch up, in between yo-yoing to and fro to re settle Arlo when he wakes up every two hours or less in the evenings.

 

But you know what? I don’t think anyone wants to hear that do they. I’ll keep saying ‘fine thanks, how about you?’

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12 Comments

  1. 7th September 2016 / 8:11 am

    We need that play date! x

  2. 7th September 2016 / 8:40 am

    You’re doing an amazing job – I struggle with the baby and toddler and I’m not even working! I just keep telling myself he has to sleep eventually! I hope things improve for you soon x

  3. 7th September 2016 / 1:36 pm

    It’s funny that in our culture ‘How are you?’ often doesn’t actually mean ‘How are you?’

    People don’t always really want to know how you are, sometimes not even waiting for an answer to the question. Really, it’s another way of saying hello.

    But it’d be interesting to see what happened if you were actually honest with someone. You’d no doubt be surprised by the result – some people may not want to hear how you actually are – but maybe some may offer a supportive shoulder.

    Sorry to hear that you’re struggling, it does sound like you’re doing a brilliant job. I don’t have kids so can’t compare that aspect but can relate to a number of other things you’ve said. I don’t see my boyfriend often because he works long hours, six days a week so Sunday is our only time together and even then we have household chores to do. I have insomnia so I’m always exhausted but have to get by on about five hours of poor sleep and then go to work, so the last thing I want to do in my ‘spare’ time is clean when there’s also food shopping/cooking/laundry/gardening/DIY that needs doing, the list is always endless, it’s exhausting. And I can’t imagine what it’s like having all those things to do while having two small children too.

    Sending lots of love your way lovely! xx

    • 7th September 2016 / 10:18 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment! You’re right, I think ‘how are you’ is often said without any thought to what the answer might be but perhaps I should just tell people how it is! Life is hard no matter what you’re juggling, it must be so hard for trying to squish everything nice into that magical 7th day you spend with your boyfriend, and adding insomnia on top and generally having to be an adult, wahhh! Sometimes I wish bernards watch existed and we could just pause it all for a bit!

  4. 7th September 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Holy cow. I don’t know how you do it. How did it make you feel putting it down on paper as such? Better about it all or more stressed? You do so well to manage everything and I take my hat off to you. If it’s a casual friend I’ll always say ‘fine’ or ‘good’ it with true friends, I will tell them the truth but hate to sound like a moaner. Thanks for joining the #weekendblogshare

    • 7th September 2016 / 10:18 pm

      Yes actually it did feel a bit better to splosh it all onto a blog post! I think I should tell people how I feel more often, you’re right!

  5. 7th September 2016 / 3:38 pm

    Oh you poor thing, you’re at the sharp end of being a parent for sure. All I can say is that, like all times, both good and bad, this will pass. And you will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. My kids were terrible, terrible sleepers until they were each about 3. It was grim and miserable. Yet I blink an eye and now they’re teenagers I rarely see before noon. But until you get past this, try to take care of yourself as much as you can. Taking care of yourself will leave you better able to take care of them, so it’s essential.

    • 7th September 2016 / 10:19 pm

      Thank you, I am trying to take care of me but it’s hard. I know things will get easier and it won’t be like this forever, but my sleep deprived mind doesn’t help!

  6. 7th September 2016 / 5:36 pm

    Such a simple question ‘How are you?’ but I don’t think anyone ever expects anyone to reply back with anything other than I’m fine. Sounds do like you have a lot on your plate right now and I hope that you manage to meet up with some friends so you can have an hour or so to yourself

  7. 7th September 2016 / 11:07 pm

    Theres so much we could really say but we never do, we just smile, nod and say “yeh fine thanks you?”

  8. 7th September 2016 / 11:17 pm

    Oh sweetie – you’re doing an amazing job! I only have the one and I often feel like a duck; gracefully gliding along but frantically paddling underwater.

    We need to meet up soon, you certainly don’t have to say “I’m fine” to me.

    *big hugs*

    • 9th September 2016 / 9:45 pm

      Thank you! Yes lets meet up soon, I’m about to go away for a week but will be more free after that!

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