Reflecting on a year of being a mum of two, or “for f*cks sake”

being mum to two I’ve been a ‘mother of two’ for just over a year now, and amazingly have managed to keep everyone alive, health(ish) and happy (mostly). I can’t say it’s been a breeze, because some days it’s been really bloody difficult. My top three sentences in the last year have been:

Oh for fucks sake

I mutter this more than five times a day probably, mostly under my breath but sometimes an audible one escapes. Reasons I’ve said it in the last week are;

  • Because me, both kids and everything we need for the day are at the front door but one very important thing is still upstairs (normally car keys)
  • Also when it’s pissing down with rain and I go to get Athena out of the car to discover she’s taken both her shoes AND socks off and we’re parked two streets away with a boot full of shopping too.
  • When I discovered Arlo covered in the contents of a bottle of bubble-blowing solution in the living room,
  • When Athena decided when she wakes up instead of shouting for us to come and get her she’ll just climb down the ladder from bed, silently creep into our room and stand and look at us till we realise she’s there. At 6.15am.
  • When I spent two days thinking i’d lost my purse only to discover it in the changing bag where it always is and…
  • When Arlo discovered he could open the kitchen cupboard doors, climb in and empty them in one swift movement

Muttering ‘For fucks sake’ under my breath (ish) does mean that I don’t shout at the kids though, which is the main thing, although Athena is probably going to start saying it soon so I really should stop!

Gentle… gentle…. GENTLE PLEASE! What did I just say?!?!

Normally aimed at Athena who does not have the most gentle of touches when it comes to her brother/books/strange cats on the streets. She’s often caught pinching him a bit too hard or ‘hugging’ him but actually putting him in an arm lock so his face goes a bit blue… Now it’s being aimed at Arlo too as he reaches out and bashes my face, pinches my neck or boobs or grabs a handful of hair and pulls.

Finally my new personal mantra: ‘This too shall pass’. I’m tempted to get it as my next tattoo somewhere but for now I’ve made it as a bracelet so I can catch sight of it when I need a virtual hug.

This last year has been tricky and exhausting, there’s no denying that. It’s such a change going from one baby to two. Athena was a very different baby to Arlo too and in fact I think had she been more like Arlo we wouldn’t have had another baby so close in age. Arlo is a lot more dependent on me, he screams when I leave the room, or for a huge variety of other reasons. He doesn’t sleep for more than three hours in one go (and that’s the upper limit) and wont drink milk from a bottle so relies on my boobs to lull him to sleep for naps and bedtime. He also won’t sleep apart from me, and likes to starfish in the middle of the bed with Sam and I squashed at either side.

being mum to two

But however tricky and exhausting it has been the special, magical moments far outweigh the troublesome times. The way my two play peekaboo round the cereal box at breakfast, when Athena tries to help stop Arlo crying by singing ‘The Arlo Song’ to him. The way he watches her intently when she’s playing then tries to copy. The way she strokes his hair when he’s asleep or feeding and she’s tired too. I really hope that their bond just gets stronger and stronger as they grow up, I often find myself day dreaming to months or even years down the line and have visions of them running round together at the park, or at a Zoo… and it makes my heart go fuzzy. So yes, this year has been hard, there have been days when all I want to do is hide under the duvet on my own and sleep for a thousand hours. I’ve lost my temper, I’ve raised my voice and I hate myself for it every time, but I know that these times wont last forever and that it is getting easier as every day goes past.

Time for a third….? No, we can’t afford it and we’ve nowhere to put it either!

You Baby Me Mummy
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15 Comments

  1. 8th April 2016 / 7:57 am

    Ha ha ha that final line made me actually LOL… no where to put it! I only have one and mutter that phrase along with “Are you ACTUALLY kidding me??!” and “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?!” on a regular basis!!

    #thelist

  2. 8th April 2016 / 9:06 am

    Slow down and be careful are probably my most used phrases. For the first year my two did synchronised poos. I would hear “mummy can you wipe my bottom”, whilst I was elbow deep in a dirty nappy! #TheList

  3. 8th April 2016 / 1:26 pm

    This is me! That first year is a real rollercoaster and I was pleased to get to the end of it. Only to discover that the next one was waiting for me! Have two children close in age is tough and I crawl over the line most days. I really have to watch what I am saying now, as Alice is like a sponge waiting to suck up anything I say!!!! x #picknmix

  4. 9th April 2016 / 8:13 am

    Oh isn’t it a huuuuge change? E is now 6 months old and I still have no real clue how to juggle two kids. He screams when I leave the room too and is like my little koala on my hip. I long for the night he sleeps through but know he is my last baby so am trying to savour it all too x

  5. 10th April 2016 / 9:16 am

    Oh yeh I have for fuck sake moments all the time! Although I have become more aware of swearing in front of my little one as we had an incident where he happened to repeat, very clearly, what the fuck after a road rage incident! Oops ? #thelist

  6. 11th April 2016 / 7:23 am

    You made it! It gets easier. And a little swearing goes a long way to helping.

  7. 11th April 2016 / 10:37 am

    Great post I want another child soon but worried what it will be like. I definitely have for f*cks sake moments with just one child. I know its all worth it though.

  8. 11th April 2016 / 12:23 pm

    I found it hard going from 1 to 2 as well. However now my youngest is 19 months and the eldest is almost 5 it is so much easier. They play together and keep each other entertained.

  9. 11th April 2016 / 4:19 pm

    It must be such a balance trying to juggle all that you do. I for one commend mothers, and all parents, for that! x

  10. 11th April 2016 / 5:40 pm

    It is so different going from one to two. I have two daughters with 16 months between them and I often sit and wonder how on earth anyone manages more than two! Seriously? How?

  11. 11th April 2016 / 9:59 pm

    I’m the same as you. I swear all the time and hubby is not happy about it. Men just simply don’t understand how stressful it can be.
    Gentle is a word that is being said so many times a day. Matthew can be so rough around chloe sometimes. She doesn’t walk at 14 months yet.

  12. 11th April 2016 / 10:19 pm

    I only have one so I can imagine how hard it must be with two. My mum had me and my brother within a year, poor her! 🙂
    http://lilinhaangel.com/

  13. 14th April 2016 / 4:13 pm

    Love your tattoo. I have an 18-month old little boy and have no idea how I would cope with 2.

  14. 22nd April 2016 / 9:43 am

    I love this post Lauren, so true that the magical times far outweigh the troublesome times. It is never ending with two young children but like you say so worth it. Sending hugs x

  15. 30th April 2016 / 9:21 am

    Oh my! I nodded along to so much of this post. Although I have three, there is a big gap between one and two….. I’m nearly the end of my second year with the boys (21 months apart) and I have to say…. The first year, despite the tiredness, was so much easier…. Now I’m dealing with two toddlers, two lots if tantrums…. Two different directions and sibling rivalry…. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!

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