On feeling like this…

The only way to describe it is (1)

 

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, other than the fact I need a kick up the bum or an injection of ‘get up and go’. Sadly the only person that can give me either of those is me.

I took the weekend off from blogging, didn’t switch my laptop on and rarely bothered checking any social media… I’m not sure if it helped or hindered my state of ‘meh’ either to be honest! I’m annoyed I couldn’t even muster up the oomph to write my ‘Stuff on a Sunday’ and now I’ll never know what I did this past week because I’ve forgotten already!

 I think the extreme levels of pregnancy fatigue (and super low iron levels) are catching up with me now, and coupled with the desire to nest and de clutter plus the endless list of tasks that need doing before baby arrives I’m just feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything in general. I also have extreme guilt that I’m just not being a very good mama to Athena most of the time. I don’t have the energy to chase her round the park very much, heck I don’t actually have the energy to lift her into and out of her high chair even. Last night I put her to bed half an hour early because  I was so exhausted and couldn’t face the pile of toys getting any bigger on the living room floor and having to tidy them away.

I feel like my brain looks like this at the moment:

scribble

 

I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m writing lists, so many lists… and Sam is fed up with me demanding that he help me do ridiculous things at ridiculous O’clock because “it has to be done RIGHT NOW”. On Saturday night he told me off for standing on Athena’s high chair to reach the top of the kitchen cupboard to de-clutter the accumulated crap. Why at 9pm on a Saturday night was that the most important thing to do ever is something only the inner workings of my brain could tell you. I do feel better watching the bags of junk accumulate and get chucked though, I’ve also put a few bits and bobs up on a local ‘free and recycling’ group on facebook. However that causes more grief and stress because people are just rude. If you’ve been chosen as the recipient of something that you want, for FREE then the least you can do is come and collect if at the time you said you would! Gah! That’s another thing, I am becoming less and less patient and I’ve never been a particularly patient person at the best of times!

I have realised that this post isn’t actually going anywhere and is more a brain dump rather than anything anyone can make sense of… so I’ll stop here and try and make a promise that normal blogging will resume soon… I have an Athena free day today as she’s at Nursery, so I will attempt to make a dent on my email in box, as well as the rest of my lists because that’s getting fuller and fuller and making me feel more pressured too! How on earth I’ll cope when I have two babies is beyond me!

Over and out, and happy Shrove Tuesday, enjoy your pancakes!

Follow:
Sharing the love:

6 Comments

  1. 17th February 2015 / 9:01 am

    A brain dump post is sometimes what you need to help clear the air in your head. Don’t worry about being a bad mummy to Athena. You definitely aren’t and she’ll know that you love her just as much as always still. As for the insane lists, keep going… sorry Sam! If they work for you, then you have to do what you can to get through! xx

  2. 17th February 2015 / 9:10 am

    Pal, I could have written this post myself (aside from the pregnancy/baby parts)… It’s frustrating when you feel like this but really can’t/don’t know how to snap out of it :'(

    Little boy will be here soon and hopefully it will all resolve itself.

    Lots of love <3 xxx

  3. 17th February 2015 / 8:04 pm

    I have times like that myself. Definite meh days. It’ll pass, maybe when the baby comes! x

  4. 17th February 2015 / 9:05 pm

    I think this brain fug hits us all at least once during pregnancy – hope it passes for you quickly x

  5. 20th February 2015 / 2:31 am

    I could have written this. I think theres definitely a point in pregnancy where your brain just gives up on you, and your left half a miserable grumpy mess laying on the sofa who can’t deal with life and half a big ball of “Must Get This All Done NOW”-ness – for want of a better description.

    And yes…people on Facebook freebie groups….*stab*

  6. 21st February 2015 / 8:53 am

    Oh hun 🙁 you’ve got a lot on your plate right now- it’s no surprise you’re feeling overwhelmed! I find decluttering very therapeutic when I feel like I’m losing control elsewhere. Having less crap to tidy away/dust is always helpful.

    You’ve certainly not got anything to worry about in terms of looking after Athena though; you really are an amazing Mum! If it won’t add another stressful thing to your To Do list can we meet for tea again soon? I’ll run around after A for you, and you can sit down and eat lots of iron-rich food (dark chocolate contains tons of it 🙂 )

    Hope you’re feeling a bit better today xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *